那麼應該是這一部了...........
Hercules (1983)


Paul A. Presenza ([email protected])
Wilmington, DE USA

Date: 27 September 1999
Summary: "Zeus is Clever"...gee, cud that be because he's a GOD!!! :=8/

Hooves down one of the funniest cow flops in moovie history, from the silly Tonka-Toy robots to the gleeful shredding of classical Greek Mythology. This fascile flop features the Triple Alliance of Bad Actors, Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning, and Brad Harris, the same wanna-bes who would go on to destroy "The Seven Magnificent Gladiators". Bulfinch's was not cowsulted during this film. There are only 3 Greek gods, Zeus, Hera, and Aphrodite, and they live on the moon. Zeus, sporting an obviously fake, cheesy Santa Claus beard he bought for $.99, has nothing better to do, so he creates Herc out of some FX lights and blips & sends him to earth. Hera is evil, in her white fright-wig, and opposes Herc by sending two sock puppets to kill him. Baby Herc may have given the best performance. Aphrodite doesn't have much to do, and is basically along for the ride. While on earth, Herc throws styrofoam boulders, beats up stuffed bears, and fights the evil hordes of King Minos (William Berger) with plastic swords. Lou "Hulk" Ferrigno is the Herc-ster, and while he does look the part, he acts and talks moore like Lenny from "Of Mice and Men": if big Lou stuffed his mouth with marbles, he might sound less coherent, maybe. Ms Danning plays the Evil Busty Wonderbra Babe with her usual lack of talent. Among the many adventures on display in this film are the Secret Passage, which everyone knows about & immediately rushes to, the Endless Staircase, which has a bottom, and the Augean Stables, which haven't been cleaned in years, and have no horses. One of my favorite scenes shows Herc doing "battle" with a stock-footage bear, then battling a guy in an OBVIOUS bear-suit, then throwing the "bear" into outer space: as we watch the stuffed teddy bear twirl into the stars and become Ursa Major, truly we have hit the pinnacle of absurdity. So much stupid, absurd stuff happens in the space of 90 minutes that you may, dear reader, end up like the poor ol' MooCow, rolling on the isle of the moovie theater, in cowvulsions, weeping with laughter into his popcorn. Yes, MooCowMoo says definitely check it out, rent it, buy it, sit back and let the stupidity roll! :?/P>