轉貼友站 hogo (好狗) 的文章，粉熱心吶。
建議各位看完影片再看以下翻譯~~~


============ 粉乾淨的分格線 =============( 學他們的 )

: : strangers from distant lands, friends of old,
Elrond：來自四面八方的陌生朋友們、各位老友們

: : you have been summoned here to answer the threat of mordor.
Elrond：這次是為了回應魔多的威脅而召喚諸位來到這裡

: : middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction.
Elrond：中土世界如今已經面臨毀滅的邊緣了

: : Bring forth the Ring.
Elrond：把魔戒呈上前來吧(Arwen及哈比人突然出現在電影片段中)

: : jack, you do have the ring, don't you?
Arwen：Jack，魔戒不是你拿著嗎？

: : yes. yes, i have the ring
Jack：呃....是的....魔戒是在我這裡是沒錯.....

: : the thing is, last night, me and some buddies had a little too much mead,
Jack：不過呢，由於昨天晚上我跟幾個死黨喝得稍微多了一點....

: : and we ended up at the piercing parlor,
Jack：後來不知怎麼搞的我們跑到穿耳洞的店裡去....

: : and we ended up， and....
Jack：然後....ㄝ....啊.....

: : a long story short...
Jack：好吧，這樣比較快.......脫掉褲子露出小弟弟

: : oh, my god.
Arwen：喔！天啊！

: : it is a gift.
Boromir：真是天賦異「柄」！

: : you're damn right, it's a gift
Jack：你說的一點兒也沒錯，這是我最驕傲的天賦 ^^

: : it's called a "Prince Albert,"
Jack：它的名字叫做「亞伯特王子」（這本來就是小弟弟的暱稱 XD）

: : and it's my precious
Jack：這是我的寶貝∼ （學Gollum的表情跟語氣 XD）

: : so, you're telling us
Arwen：呃....所以你是要告訴我們說

: : that you took the fabled Ring of Sauron,
Arwen：你拿了傳說中的索倫之戒

: : the one ring that could destroy allof middle-earth,
Arwen: 那枚足以毀滅整個中土世界的戒指！

: : and attached it to your--
Arwen: 然後把它黏到你的....

: : your little Hobbit there?
Arwen: 你的小弟弟的上面？！

: : it was easy.
Jack: 對啊，這很簡單啊

: : see, what they do is
Jack: 你瞧，他們的作法就是

: : they heat up this metal spike,
Jack: 先把一根大鋼釘燒熱

: : then they drive it through your penis,
Jack: 然後把它戳進你的小弟弟裡

: : and then they just wiggle it around a little bit
Jack: 再來用力擣一擣

: : to make sure the hole's big enough,
Jack: 等到他們覺得洞夠大了

: : then they put a hinge on the ring, snap it shut,
Jack: 然後就用絞練穿過魔戒，把它們一起鎖緊，

: : boom, it's on there forever, baby.
Jack: 搞定！這樣它們就永遠黏在一起了，寶貝。

: : that's disgusting.
Arwen: 真是有夠噁心的

: : you say that now.
Jack: 你現在是這樣講！

: : this little bad boy
Jack: 可是等你知道這個小壞壞....

: : gets the ladies where they're trying to go every time.
Jack: 每次都能讓女士們High到最高點的話....

: :that Ring must be destroyed.
Elrond: 這枚戒指必須被摧毀

: : Yo, Eyebrows, stay out of this.
Jack: 喂！眉毛兄！（Elrond諧音），別想動他！

: : Jack!
Arwen: Jack！

: : none of us are comfortable with the fate of middle-earth
Arwen: 我們沒有任何一個人可以忍受中土世界的命運....

: : dangling from your--
Arwen: 得「維繫」在你的....

: : oh, my god! it's moving.
Arwen: 喔！天啊！「它」在動！

待續~~~~~