anshley網友已改的差不多了,我只稍微補充一下我的看法

"...to be friend with everyone."
如果用to be a friend後面應該是加"to" everyone
不然就直接用to make friends with everyone

父母親應該擺前面,sister擺後面會比較好點

I am interested in playing basketball and chat.
後面的chat要改成和前面playing相呼應的chating
或者寫Playing basketball and chating are my hobbies.

大學生活那一句,anshley網友改的相當好
這篇簡介的最大問題樓上有人提過了,內容似乎空洞了些