PCDVD數位科技討論區

PCDVD數位科技討論區 (https://www.pcdvd.com.tw/index.php)
-   七嘴八舌異言堂 (https://www.pcdvd.com.tw/forumdisplay.php?f=12)
-   -   幫忙看一下我的英文自介 (https://www.pcdvd.com.tw/showthread.php?t=750586)

dickiong 2007-10-13 08:48 PM

幫忙看一下我的英文自介
 
My name is 名子.

I was born on April 23,1988.

I live in Tainan County.

I have a easygoing personality and I'm very happy to be friend with everyone.

My family has four members,my sister father and mother.

The interest is to like to play basketball and chat.

I hope the university can lived joy and learn a lot.

That's all. Nice to meet you.

----------------------------------------------------

我們老師說要80個字

但是我只能想到這麼多..

請大家幫我看文法對不對

以及要補充什麼

Thanks. :)

地海巫師 2007-10-13 09:30 PM

引用:
作者dickiong
My name is 名子.
I was born on April 23,1988.
I live in Tainan County.
I have a easygoing personality and I'm very happy to be friend with everyone.
My family has four members,my sister father and mother.
The interest is to like to play basketball and chat.
I hope the university can lived joy and learn a lot.
That's all. Nice to meet you.
----------------------------------------------------
我們老師說要80個字
但是我只能想到這麼多..
請大家幫我看文法對不對
以及要補充什麼
Thanks. :)


不對喔.是名字不是名子
另外.泰坦的英文是TITAN.不是TAINAN
而且.INTERST是利息的意思.
是SHAT不是CHAT.不信請查雅虎字典.保證你大吃一斤
最後.不要以為我不知道SISTER是妹妹.真像來~~~~~~

[啞唬新聞]16歲宅女靠英文月收入15萬.全靠巫師英文教學.

PM我吧~~~

13F 2007-10-13 10:17 PM

自我介紹不需要報出生日.內容空洞了些.說些具體的會較好.
1.要具體的計畫大學想怎麼學習.著重在哪個科目.或要塑造自己成為精通哪方面的人材.
2.對學校的具體印象

英文只是溝通的工具,內容好比文法好重要.除非這是英文報告作業....

inte9801 2007-10-13 11:26 PM

wizard ......... are u serious?
or its kidding??

哪裡不一樣 2007-10-14 12:15 AM

引用:
作者inte9801
wizard ......... are u serious?
or its kidding??


I think hes kidding. maybe just for fun.

anshley 2007-10-14 01:37 AM

我沒資格改你的英文
不過以下是我的建議
請參考看看!

引用:
作者dickiong
My name is 名子.

I was born on April 23,1988.

I live in Tainan County.

I have a easygoing personality and I'm very happy to be friend with everyone.

a easygoing=>an easygoing
be friend=> be a friend

My family has four members,my sister father and mother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are four members in my family, including my sister, father and mother.

The interest is to like to play basketball and chat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am interested in playing basketball and chat.

I hope the university can lived joy and learn a lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am looking forward to a wonderful and meaningful colleage life.

That's all. Nice to meet you.

----------------------------------------------------

我們老師說要80個字

但是我只能想到這麼多..

請大家幫我看文法對不對

以及要補充什麼

Thanks. :)

whales4 2007-10-14 02:00 AM

1988...年紀也不小了吧
應該可以寫一些比較有深度的東西了。
(我指的是生活經驗方面的內容...)

如果還在提幾歲、住哪、家裡幾個人...似乎稍嫌薄弱

雖然我想你的老師應該只是把重心放在文法結構的教學上,

但萬一有一天出社會了,這份自傳隨著履歷到了HR手上...

你鐵定會被秒殺喔。 :laugh:


-------------------------------------------------------
另外補充,去北門路找幾本英文自傳、履歷寫法的書來看吧。
各式句型、用法、格式都很豐富,選出的文字也會更精煉,
接著只要你真實的生活經驗按照它來重寫就可以了。

班尼爾_ 2007-10-14 04:36 AM

anshley網友已改的差不多了,我只稍微補充一下我的看法

"...to be friend with everyone."
如果用to be a friend後面應該是加"to" everyone
不然就直接用to make friends with everyone

父母親應該擺前面,sister擺後面會比較好點

I am interested in playing basketball and chat.
後面的chat要改成和前面playing相呼應的chating
或者寫Playing basketball and chating are my hobbies.

大學生活那一句,anshley網友改的相當好
這篇簡介的最大問題樓上有人提過了,內容似乎空洞了些

dickiong 2007-10-14 09:42 AM

謝謝大家 :)

我沒有學過怎麼寫自傳

所以我自己也覺得這樣的內容相當空洞 :nonono:

anyway,謝謝 :)

ps2fans 2007-10-14 04:19 PM

我記得本站有一位英文超強的人士
可以PM他歐


所有的時間均為GMT +8。 現在的時間是01:12 AM.

vBulletin Version 3.0.1
powered_by_vbulletin 2025。